Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
