Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
