Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
