Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
