We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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