Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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