I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
