I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
