Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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