What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
