Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
