Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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