What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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