Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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