Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Quick, to the slutcave!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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