She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
