there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
