What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize