Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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