Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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