dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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