worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
