Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize