i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
