i just wanna soil my oats bro
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
should my penis look like a turkey
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
