ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
