sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
