Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
