It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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