it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
