like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
