just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I want to be your penis for a week.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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