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Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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