her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
