At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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