just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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