I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
