What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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