I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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