Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
