There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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