we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
