My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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