Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
