ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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