Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
