Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize