Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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