yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
