Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
