I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
