Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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