We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
