Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
