because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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