Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
