Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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