ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
