in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
