Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
